Reasons Why You’re Fat*: BOOOOOZE!

This week’s focus comprises the majority of Yale’s caloric intake: CHEAP BEER! From the fabled halls of Zeta to the annals of Bingham Hall, cheap beer serves as the backbone of Yale’s Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights (everyone knows Tuesday is the worst night to go out). Based on an informal survey of one Yalie, I have discovered that the following five beers are Yale’s most popular: Natural Ice, Miller Lite, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Keystone Light and Bud Light. Of these five, Miller Lite is by far the healthiest, a mere 96 calories per 12 oz serving. Next comes Keystone, with 103, followed by Bud Light with 110. Rounding out the group are PBR and Natty Ice, with 153 and 157 calories, respectively.

The calorie count for Miller Lite is impressive to say the least, but it’s important to remember that you’re going to have multiple beers, to the point that you’ll be at least 400 calories in the hole once you start feeling anything. Meanwhile, one shot of vodka only has 55 calories and, let’s be honest, probably tastes about as good as Natty Ice. Vodka also can be risky, as mixers are generally high-sugar fruit juices that leave you dehydrated (yay Vitamin C!).

Though the obvious solution to your caloric concerns is to drink less, we all know that won’t happen. So scene is obligated to recommend Pabst Blue Ribbon as the only viable solution. It may not have the least calories, but it’s just so aesthetically pleasing!

*The idea for this blog game from a book I saw sitting on the table at Urban Outfitters — I would never encourage anyone to stop eating.

Comments

  • Magic 8 bakl

    Should you write for gawker?

    Yes.