Teaching ladies all about hip-hopping

In a world with hugely selling hip-hop albums, million-dollar rap videos and trend-setting wankstas, it’s a fact that hip-hop is cool and damn important. But no one knows better than Amanda McCall and Albertina Rizzo, authors of the upcoming ‘Hold My Gold: A White Girl’s Guide to the Hip Hop World.’ The book may be a parody, but it just very well may save your life.



scene: So how’d you guys come up with the idea for the book?

Amanda: For me, I don’t know if you saw the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards, but I sort of had what you’d call a vision. 50 Cent dropped out of a giant Pimp Cup, a jewel-adorned goblet almost the size of a building. In that moment, it kind of hit me: I realized that I love that man and hip-hop so much that I’m going to dedicate the rest of my life to helping white girls like myself to love hip-hop.

Albertina: And I’ve been listening to gangsta rap forever, and I’ve always loved it, and I just decided that now that I’m in my late 20s, I just needed to pursue the lifestyle a little more. Because everything revolves around hip-hop. Everything.

Amanda: That’s all there is in the world.

Albertina: It’s like drinking water, you have to like it.

scene: What about the recent indie-rock explosion?

Albertina: Um yeah, that’s going to go away real soon.

scene: You have a section that defines the hip-hop vernacular. I noticed you left “bling” out, what do you think of the word?

Albertina: No offense to all the wack people still using it, but my grandma uses the word ‘bling,’ and she’s not gangsta at all. She is so lame and wack, and I was like, ‘Grandma, you gotta start being more gangsta.’ ‘Bling’ is so four years ago, and it’s just not cool anymore. We left it out because we’re just too gangsta to say ‘bling.’

Amanda: The word ‘bling’ is a good example of the epitome of wackness. Like thinking that you’re not wack, but being really wack.

scene: You dedicate the book to Andre 3000 and Big Boi with the stated hope of a romantic rendezvous. In the case that doesn’t happen, who’s your second pick?

Amanda: For me, it’s basically the whole G-Unit crew. If we could have had two dedication pages, it’d be a combination of Outkast and G-Unit. But you can’t have two.

Albertina: It was really tough.

scene: Not a single member, but the whole crew?

Amanda: The whole crew. In my spiritual life, 50 Cent has been the most important, but they’re all so amazing that we’d take any member really. Also, they’re from Connecticut, so if you can somehow get to Farmington, Conn., you could really help us out with them. Farmington is now officially the crunkest place on Earth.

scene: Farmington, really?

Amanda: I mean, that’s where Fitty has his house.

scene: What kind of impact do you want your book to have on the world?

Amanda: We basically just wanted to have a step-by-step to help girls make their lives crunker, whether it be bedazzling their toilet or putting hydraulics in their car. It’s all fun and games, but there’s a lot of really important educational material.

Albertina: Like it’s a little-known fact that Cristal works on just about anything. You can clean stuff with it, it will cure a rash, it’s really amazing. We’re just here to help.

scene: So what would your rapper names be?

Amanda: I’d be Killa Amanda or I’m Gonna Kill You A Lot Amanda.

Albertina: I’d be Grand Larceny Albertina. Or Gangsta Tina. Yeah, that’s good.

Amanda: Now I want to be Robbin’ People All Ova Amanda. That’s catchier.

scene: And when will the world be ready for a white girl rapper?

Albertina: Listen, all you need are mad rhymes. Nothing’s certain yet, but there have been some talks. I got skillz. That’s with a “z.” When you write that make sure you write skillz with a “z.”

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