Pretentious Summer Internships

1) Rick Santorum’s political campaign The frothy mixture of family values and violating the separation of church and state that is the product of trying to get into politics.

2) CERN: European Organization for Nuclear Research When you enter the Large Hadron Collider, the fate of the world is in your hands. Please don’t blow us up.

3) The New York Times 202 York is drooling over this one. But it’s not pretentious, it’s making the world a better place!

4) Bain & Company Consulting Follow in Mitt’s hallowed footsteps. This internship is yours to lose — like South Carolina.

5) Congressional internships This one gets a nine percent approval rating. For people who enjoy working for douchebags but don’t like finance.

6) Google Sign away all of your ideas. Especially for Google Doodles.

7) Goldman Sachs Occupy the one percent. No, just kidding, you’re doing it because you’re really interested in investment banking. You don’t even know how much the job pays, honestly.

8) The State Department The only way to make an EP&E major more pretentious. Just be careful about that background check.

9) Anything in China Like our economy really needs any more sabotaging. Why do you hate Amurrica?

10) The Yale Farm Where the hipsters flock like sheep. Ah, the sweet, tantalizing aroma of organic carrots.

– Magazine Staff

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