Awkward Freshmen Moments

  1. Getting caught with your hand in the entryway condom bag. It’s not worth getting them for free.
  2. Going to Toad’s for the first time. Well, and every time after that.
  3. Opening the gates the wrong way. Somebody’s behind you, and you can’t tell whether to push or pull. Your expensive private-school education never prepared you for the trials of the real world!
  4. That guy. Meeting the weird kid who friended everyone on Facebook over the summer. I wish I could say it’s nice to meet you, but it’s not.
  5. “Are you a freshman?” You eagerly ask the cute girl hanging out on Old Campus only to have her respond, “No…I’m a grad student.” So…you don’t wanna be friends?
  6. Froco encounter. You know, that moment when you run into him coming out of the shower. With his girlfriend. Yeah, they just had sex. Better or worse than walking in on Mom and Dad?
  7. “Can I use my swipe?” The very first time you go to G-Heav and try to give them your Yale ID. Oh, foolish freshman. You’ll soon learn that nothing here costs under $7 anyway.
  8. Stalker encounter. Bringing up something in a conversation that you’ve only learned through judicious Facebook stalking. “So how’s your sister? No, not the pregnant one, the one who got married to that Estonian guy while she was working on her Fulbright.”
  9. School Success. Realizing that you don’t actually have to do the vast majority of your assigned reading. And that actually doing it has made upperclassmen think you’re a section asshole.
  10. Shared stalls. Sharing a bathroom with a member of the opposite sex for the first time and learning the girls poop. Even the cute ones.

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