Footnotes: The Study of Seduction

  1. If her hands are on her face, she is either lying or bored.

  2. French neuroanatomist Duchenne de Bologne wrote in 1862 that the difference between real and fake smiles is the contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle, which controls the eyelids. This muscle is “only put in play by the sweet emotions of the soul; the…fake joy, the deceitful laugh, cannot provoke the contraction of this latter muscle.” How to detect a real smile? The skin around the eye will tighten, pulling the cheeks upward and the forehead downward.

  3. While environmental cues are not directly related to female physiology, awareness of your surroundings is crucial to detect and sidestep potential competitors, create inside jokes, and transition to different locations.

  4. “Seduction” and “pick-up” have different nuances (pick-up artists dislike the term “seduction” because of its negative connotation), but here we will take them equally.

  5. LoveSystems, one of the leaders in the industry (it has around 130,000 forum participants), charges $2999 for a three day boot camp — with a $999 deposit — in locations from London to Calgary to Philadelphia to San Francisco to Sydney.

  6. A personal observation: the hook-up culture is largely absent in first-generation households, though rebellious and curious teenagers will probably all converge to reflect these 2001 Bowling Green State University study results: of the 55% of 11th-graders who engaged in intercourse, 60% said they’d had sex with somebody who was no more than a friend.

  7. TIME Magazine calls “Sex and the City” one of the best TV shows ever. During its six-year run, Samantha, who is almost 50, has sex with 41 men and one woman. Jane Gerhard, writing in Feminist Media Studies, notes that Samantha’s copious number of partners is actually tangential to the main theme, which is the show’s examination of the history of the sexual revolution through Carrie’s narrative. Gerhard explains that Carrie “must reconcile the contrary pulls of wanting true love and wanting a good lover, wanting independence and wanting a husband.”

  8. Taking home a different woman every night is thrilling, not just psychologically but physiologically. An old joke about President Calvin Coolidge, involving eggs, roosters, and witty retorts, the text of which is too banal to be reproduced here, gave birth to the term “Coolidge Effect,” which describes a phenomenon where males, when given a new copulation partner, drastically decrease their post-ejaculatory “re-awakening” time. This arousal has been documented in many mammalian species. The female’s attractiveness does not matter, nor does time between ejaculations — just having a variety in copulation partners is physiologically pleasing.

  9. This author is not trying to imply anything causal with these statistics; he is just pointing out a correlation that implies the sexual revolution might have caused the destruction of the family unit. That, and pornography.

  10. The term “alpha male” has many definitions, but you only need one: George Clooney.

  11. In all likelihood, you are a beta male.

  12. While it is hard to pin down exactly what percentage of the male population falls into each category, let’s sub-divide the current distinctions to make this framework sound more scientific. Jessica Grose of Slate Magazine derives a taxonomy of omegas: The Liberal Arts Layabout, The Mimbo, Beer Guy, and The Game Boy.

  13. The truth is a bit more complicated. While humans are sexually dimorphic — males are bigger than females, and have more upper body strength (by 50%), body hair, weight and height; they also have deeper voices, riskier life histories, and more prominent chins — males also have heavier testes, more sperm, and the largest and widest penis of any primate (chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans included). In the animal kingdom, having such large reproductive organs is not correlated to sexual dimorphism — it is an anti-cuckoldry tactic (anti-cheating). This evidence points towards a human mating system of polyandry: if females have multiple sugar daddies, males fight back by, well, evolving massive penises that can produce as much sperm as possible. Countervailing evidence in anthropology, though, notes that 83% of traditional human cultures practice polygyny (one male mates with multiple females), putting us right in line with the rest of the mammals (98% practice polygyny). Finally, looking at child rearing confuses things further: human males are parentally invested in their children, which indicates a system of monogamy. Given this conflicting evidence, psychologists have come to a multifaceted conclusion: we are a mildly polygynous species that practices occasional polyandry. Which is to say that males cheat on females, and females cheat on males.

  14. A standard reference for anyone who knows anything about pick-up.

  15. Roissy is a blogger from our nation’s capital, whose commentary, as the Allen of the Weekly Standard puts it, “combines Darwinian analysis, harshly hilarious commentary about the current erotic landscape, graphically raw accounts of…pickup adventures, and a sense of impending social meltdown.”

  16. That social interactions have to be quantifiable to be understood is quite old hat for males. In 1789, Giacomo Casanova† (yes, that one) wrote that “without speech, the pleasure of love is diminished by at least two-thirds.” The way he conveys his point — by singling out “two-thirds” as the proper proportion of diminishment — symbolizes an intrinsic male predilection towards using numbers to construct an intelligible, universal language. †To augment the above-mentioned quote, here’s another about how Casanova liked women for more than their looks: “After all, a beautiful woman without a mind of her own leaves her lover with no resource after he had physically enjoyed her charms.”

  17. One optimal strategy is the 3:2 rule. For every three texts, send her two.

  18. The female psyche responds to sensory-laced speech. Women, when agreeing with you, will evoke sight, sound, or touch in their responses: “I feel you.” “I hear that.” “I see that.” Depending on which system she taps into, tailor your speech to match the receptivity channel.

  19. Pick-up artist Mr. M has written about the five different ways to build attraction. It might not be MECE (mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive), but it’s a start. You can be: fun-loving, intriguing, a leader, the “guy next door,” or a soul mate (make her feel as if your encounters are kismet). Or, you can just be really, really hot.

  20. A particularly adept reader might note that these risk-reward openers were mentioned in the first paragraph of this essay. An even more engaged reader will ask about the three openers that were not mentioned. The first is the situational opener, which uses the environment: “I love this music.” It is banal and oft-repeated, so please do not use one unless it is actually interesting — but at the same time, don’t use one that seems too try-hard (see how hard Game is?). The second opener is…no opener: walk up and start talking as if you were in a conversation already. This works surprisingly well in frenetic, open environments, where people are already mingling. Finally, the screening opener: signal your intentions implicitly by asking her why you should be interested: “I saw you from over there and wanted to see what you were like.”

  21. My favorite indicators of interest: “She plays with her hair while talking to you.” “She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.” “She returns your calls.”

  22. They might not have done such a good job with this one. Here’s a snippet of seduction terminology: “Maintained strong frame control @ ~98%. This percentage never dropped throughout all of the sub-Phases & even post-S3. Anything I threw @ him — he had the right response: used IOIs/IODs/SOIs/NEGs/BHRR. [He did this also post-S3, which activated ASDefense Mechanism & kicked up its Resistance Factor to ~40%, then ~70%].” Still, understanding this is probably easier than figuring out why your girlfriend is mad at you right now.

  23. Of course, a standard psychology textbook says differently: attraction is the product of waist-to-hip ratio, propinquity, similarity, physical attractiveness, and reward and social exchange theory.

  24. Not to be confused with Jeffries’ How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed.

  25. Here’s a general primer: reproductive fitness is the capacity to pass one’s genes onto subsequent generations. According to Laurie Santos of Yale University, females do this by seeking males who can provide emotional and economic fidelity. Males do this by having more sexual partners — unless they enter into a life-long monogamous relationship, in which case, the actual male strategy is to be choosy: find a fertile mate with good genes, and ensure paternal certainty (e.g. no cheating).

  26. Why females have certain preferences to begin with is a harder question to answer, but for humans, symmetry is part of the equation. In 1994, researchers Thornhill and Gangestad measured 100 different body parts for symmetry on undergraduate students and discovered that men with more symmetry had sex three to four years earlier than their counterparts.

  27. Baaren, Holland, Kawakami, and Knippenberg, in the oft-cited psychology study “Mimicry and Prosocial Behavior,” discovered that people who had been mimicked were subsequently more generous and helpful. This is quite a finding, and applicable in a bevy of situations. Here’s an experiment you can try at home: next time you are talking tête-à-tête, try positioning your hands like her hands. Nod your head when she nods. Squirm uncomfortably when she does. Then drop six pens on the ground accidentally. According to the study, she should pick them up at a higher rate than if you hadn’t mimicked her at all.

  28. There are various ways to maintain a position of power, but the easiest and least often done is to start off with your back to the bar. Power dynamics are trickier when you have to approach — she will invariably be leaning against something solid while you are approaching from the open. If she is seated and you are standing, that’s even harder. The solution? A typical move is to hold her hand and ask her to stand up so you can “show her something.” When she does, give her a little twirl, and sit in her seat. Then grin and tell her that you’ve taken her seat. Now she’s on the outside, and will evaluate you less harshly — and unconsciously feel as if she approached you.

  29. Whispering into her right ear means you’re talking directly to her left brain. Her left brain is the intuitive-reasoning half, better known as the neural substrate you have a better chance with tonight.

  30. The neg is the most mainstream (and thus most contentious) term in all of pick-up, and deserves special mention here. Neg theory evolved from 9/10 game — strategies for wooing stunningly beautiful women — as its nuclear weapon. Gorgeous women, as the story goes, are great at brushing off men. They will snub compliments and insults with equal ease. But what if you compliment her — and then target her insecurity? This is the neg, an action that Mystery says is “made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor.” The neg cuts to the philosophical core of wooing a beautiful woman: the only way to her heart is to be invulnerable to her looks. As a disqualification tool, the neg “inadvertently” betrays you noticing her imperfections. For example, take the neg, “I really like your skirt. I saw someone else just wearing it.” It is a compliment, because you have noticed what she is wearing; it is a reframing device, because it makes her self-conscious; it also a disqualifier, because suitors usually praise, not offer dispassionate observation. There are three types of negs. The shotgun neg is a quick statement that conveys romantic disinterest. It works in group settings and its power lies in the signaler’s sincerity: “Where’s her off button?” The sniper neg is a brief statement about her physical qualities. It lowers her relative status in the conversation: “Eww, you just spit on me!” The tease neg, which can be thought of as deliberate flirting, is used most. It conveys a cocky, fun attitude and pushes back on the seesaw of control. For example: if she trips, say “Careful, there’s a lot of gravity over there.” With all three types of negs, the key is to “throw and go,” making sure after the neg is executed you return to the original conversation without waiting for a response.

  31. The site PUALingo.com states, “Our thoughts become actions, our actions become behavior, our behavior becomes character, and our character becomes our destiny.”

  32. Of course, the real question is if the male who spits Game can actually win: even if he creates an initial attraction, won’t the façade wear away in a relationship? (Assuming, of course, there will be a relationship.) Probably not. There are two reasons. The first is that inner game, when executed properly, changes a personality permanently, because a “legitimate” lifestyle is established to bolsters the new self. The second is that attraction itself will cause the woman to love the pick-up artist for who he is, regardless of his personality foibles. For those in need of extra advice, a new field — relationship game — has burgeoned, and could easily be the topic of another 5,000 word article.

  33. As of this article’s publication, Tiger Woods has had 14 alleged mistresses.

  34. Scott Peterson, the Modesto resident convicted of murdering his wife and unborn son, has received letters, calls, and two marriage proposals while on death row, presumably because some find perverse fame amorous, unthinkable violence masculine, and inevitable parting romantic. Roissy generalizes this infatuation: “For every woman who writes love poems to cold-blooded killers, there are one hundred women whose hearts beat fast for an asshole who cheats, a jerk who lies, or an alpha who dominates.”

  35. For women evaluating men, a nostalgic high school rule of thumb is that looks hold 30% and personality holds 70% importance. For males the percentages are swapped.

  36. While there are arguments against the manipulation and objectification of women, the majority of men (seriously) who engage in the community have far less ambitious motivations: they simply do not want to end up alone.

  37. This is the crux of seduction: beta and omega males gain the most. An alpha male is already at potential output: he has a girlfriend or can attain one easily. Game will help him attract better looking women, but the gains at each increasing level of beauty diminish. For non-alpha males, seduction not only helps him snag a decent looking girlfriend, but it also prevents prolonged dry spells. And once he has Game, the non-alpha has two options: continue to move up the ladder, or use the freed-up psychic energy to pursue other fruitful ventures.

  38. Hot Blonde—or in this case, Hot Brunette; she’s an 8/10.

  39. “Kino” is the erudite term for flirtatious touching. Your job is to kino a woman until both of you “ping,” which is when touching is reciprocated at increasingly shorter intervals.

  40. “Shit Test”: a divisive statement that a female — consciously or not — will throw out to test a man’s social status. Examples include: “I have a boyfriend.” “Why are you looking at my shoes?” “I think I’ll be the one giving out the gold stars, not you.”

  41. According to Forbes.com, this bottle of wine was owned by Thomas Jefferson, who in addition to being the third President of the U.S., a philosopher, and a scientist, was an oenophile. He acquired it at the Bordeaux vineyard while serving as ambassador to France; the bottle, now worth $160,000, is undrinkable due to old age. One method commonly used in seduction is to sneak prepared non-sequiturs into conversation. This way dialogue traverses a well-beaten path, allowing for control and anticipation of future discussion threads.

  42. As in any field of study, the genius — the innovation — lies not in memorizing facts, but being flexible enough to apply them to novel and ambiguous situations.

  43. The topic of validation is where pick-up sophistry most diverges from lay reasoning. Complimenting women, according to Mystery, only boosts their egos, and should never be used alone; the push-pull dynamic is what really builds emotional momentum. Examples of push-pull game: “I feel so good around you…too bad you’re not my type.” “Oh my God! You’re an English major? I can’t talk to you anymore.”

  44. Surprised? Don’t be. There are many lines available to the pick-up artist, but the optimal response depends on who you are — and can be chosen only after you assess your environment, gauge the current emotional momentum, identify tipping points in her personality, and determine potential veins of conversation. Seduction is a science, silly.

Comments

  • onela22

    reposted to main comments section