Halloweek is here, and for many students, the looming holiday entails a mad dash to find a clever costume. Choosing the proper attire to impress friends and stand out in photographs can come with a lot of pressure. But Yalies love nothing more than a good inside joke. XC explores a number of outfit ideas inspired by the scariest, silliest and most celebrated Yale celebrities…
Section Asshole Pick a subject, something you really excelled at in high school.
How to wear it: The key to this look is simple — keep your hand raised. You don’t talk about subjects, you discuss them, in long, erudite sentences. If someone asks if you’d like a drink, start discussing how that drink actually reminds you of an essay from a fin de siècle theorist on the dialectic between commerce and Christianity in the third century. Heidegger, you old fox!
Skull & Bonesman Cloak yourself in immense prestige and powerful connections… Or if you are unable to do that, obtain the skulls of Martin van Buren, Geronimo, and/or Pancho Villa. Carry them under your arm as you mutter Latin and occasionally shout “Illuminati!” “Freemasons!” “National Treasure!” (They also make fantastic containers for candy.)
How to wear it: Be absent from parties on Halloween night (Thursday). You have society. Other societies may give their members the night off… not yours of course.
The Privileged Prepster In doubt, adopt this classic Yale look, make an excursion to the local Gant or J.Press (or your personal wardrobe) and acquire the latest and greatest in trendy yet stuffy attire. Blue blazer with golden buttons? Yes, please. Repp tie? Most definitely. These accessories will go ever so nicely with your favorite pair of salmon shorts.
How to wear it: Chin up! You “come from money,” and attended an exclusive prep school (for bonus points — Exeter scarf, Trinity pocket square, Harvard-Westlake pin…). Add a number to the end of your name (the bigger the number, the better). At parties, reference your recent fall break visit to Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard or Nantucket. Carry yourself like you were born and raised in an oxford and khakis.
University President Peter Salovey The outfit of the season consists of a standard suit, button down shirt, and tie. For a ‘ghosts of Halloweens past’ feel, add one glorious moustache and you are ready to haunt the halls of Warner House (where the Provost’s office is located). Bonus points for acquiring a bluegrass instrument — one point for a harmonica and one hundred points for an upright bass.
How to wear it: Personable. Down-to-earth but with authority.
The Poopetrator Whether the poopetrator or President Salovey will be the most popular outfit of the year remains to be seen.
How to wear it: You know what to do.
DS Freshman This is an outfit well-poised to win President Salovey’s “lamest” costume contest during the Halloween party in Commons! Sweatpants, flip-flops, your FOOT T-shirt, a Red Bull… you’re getting ready to settle in for a long night in Bass Library.
How to wear it: Stay in on Halloween and write an essay because Halloween is on a Thursday and your essay is due the next day.
Group Outfit: A cappella Gather a group of willing and able friends — For Whiffenpoofs, classic penguin tuxedos. For Shades, everyone wear sunglasses. For Alley Cats, gather around a bowl of milk. For Baker’s Dozen — solo cups and a mechanical bull.
How to wear it: Never travel alone. You are now a pack animal and go everywhere together. You are the a cappella group / the a cappella group is you. Spend Halloween night instilling fear into your fellow students by threatening to burst into impromptu concert… who’s afraid of a cappella?
Group Outfit: Varsity Athlete Steal the “Yale Varsity” sweatshirts or zip-ups from whatever athletes live in your hall.
How to wear it: Cluster at a dining hall table with your teammates and complain about how early you have to get up for practice the next morning. Carry a protein shake and a dining hall plate piled with enough food to feed an entire a capella group. Maybe pick the table where the athletes in your hall typically sit as well, just for kicks.
Philosophy or Theater Studies Grad Student A Starbucks or Blue State uniform.
How to wear it: With an air of defeat caused by the cruelty of a world that doesn’t understand the importance of cultural studies in the academic setting. You are a ghost of the Section Asshole… five years down the line.
For freshmen: 101 Dalmations Wouldn’t it be amusing if all the frocos AND all the freshmen dressed as Dalmatians for Halloween?
How to wear it: With a sense of resignment that you have froco duty on Halloween.
Go forth, your perfect Halloweekend awaits…