Magazine | 10:40 pm | January 24, 2012 | By Lauren Oyler

It’s the digital age, get with it!

If you are not on Twitter you are a fail whale.
If you are not on Twitter you are a fail whale. Photo by Wikimedia Commons.

If you’re one of those people who “just can’t do” Twitter, get over yourself. “Ha!” you’re probably saying as you read your paper copy of the Wall Street Journal and think about monogrammed tote bags. “One does not need to get over oneself when one is not posting mindless updates about one’s unimportant daily goings-on for all the world to see! Be quiet, Downton Abbey is afoot!”

I do not have the time or patience to explain Twitter to you sourpusses. (Please see my treatise on Twitter, It’s About Sharing Cool Stuff on The Internet and Getting Breaking News Updates Rly Rly Fast and Following Annoying People From High School You Love to Hate.) Instead, I will say this: trying to compress my general disdain for most things into a tight 140 characters has definitely made me a more economical and clear writer. (Read my tweets! @laurenoyler!!! I am funny!!!!!!!!) Also, I find the best baby sloth videos way before everyone else.

Anyway, since deciding to pursue my recently developed writing aspirations, I’ve been able to learn a lot from other people on the Internet. Here are some of those people/entities explicitly dedicated to helping you be Joan Didion circa 1973:

1) @AdvicetoWriters: Offers inspirational tips by famous writers to the tune of “You don’t have writer’s block; you’re just lazy.” in a poetic, not-as-harsh tone. They tweet many times a day and are very responsible hash-taggers.

2) @poetswritersinc: Contests, interviews, interesting writing-related articles – generally handy. They don’t tweet as often as they should, but they’re probably still learning.

3) @TheMillions: You know it’s legit when The New York Times calls it “the indispensable literary site.”

4) @writing_tips: Practical tips – think synonyms, style questions, and quick-and-easy grammar lessons.

5) @hellogiggles: For examples on how to write the most boring, grammatically incorrect posts on hard-hitting subjects such as “How to be Super Nice to Everyone, Even Meanies!” and “Zooey Deschanel is My Hero, and Don’t You Meanies Be Mean to Her!”

In other Things-You-Can-Follow-On-The-Internet news, @FSG_books has a brand new, fantastic book-and-writing-related Tumblr. Have a happy and productive semester!

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