November 17th, 2011 | Sports

Columbia fires its band

FileColumbiaNYUCoat
Photo by Wikimedia Commons.

The Occupy Wall Street protestors are not the only ones wearing out their welcome in New York.

On Wednesday, Columbia University banned its marching band from performing at Saturday’s football season finale against Brown. The decision was made after the band altered the school fight song, “Roar, Lion, Roar,” following a 62–41 loss to Cornell to focus on the football team’s recent struggles. So what did the offensive lyrics say?

“We always lose lose lose

by a lot and sometimes by a little

we all were winners at the start,

but four years has taught us all the value of

just giving up, cuz we really suck

why are we even trying?

we always lose lose lose

but we take solace in our booze.”

The Lions are 0–9 this season and have not won an Ivy League contest since last November. While the bandies lamented the football team’s woeful performance on the field, Columbia administrators were not amused.

“Because the band’s disrespect for the feelings and efforts of their classmates and fellow Columbians,” athletic director Dr. M. Dianne Murphy said. “We believe that allowing the band the opportunity to perform at Lawrence A. Wien Stadium on Saturday undermines the University’s institutional support for our football team.”

So how exactly does banning the band, possibly one of the few who actually cares about the football, increase support for the ailing Lions? We may never know.