University | 1:09 pm | November 10, 2011 | By Marissa Medansky

Brother, can you spare a futon?

A Cantab would be lucky to snag a futon of this quality and comfort.
A Cantab would be lucky to snag a futon of this quality and comfort. Photo by RyAwesome.

THE CANTABS ARE COMING! THE CANTABS ARE COMING! And they need housing.

With the Game only about a week away, Harvard students are eager to secure housing for the event. For those with acquaintances at Yale, the process is simple. Snag a spot on your friend’s futon, or crash in the common room of that kid you sort of talked to in AP German. Yet some need institutional help.

Judith Krauss, the master of Silliman College, emailed her charges on Thursday to forward the following desperate plea from Pforzheimer, Silliman’s sister college over in Cambridge. The Pfohousers (as they’re apparently called…I guess that’s no worse than Sillimanders) need housing for Friday night, and they’ve enlisted their Eli brethren for help.

“We need you to volunteer to host a brother or sister!” the email stated.

Silliman students willing to give up some floor space will receive housing priority at Harvard for next year’s Game. BUT WAIT! Before you sign up to adopt a Harvard student this weekend, let’s talk this through. They’re a strange and mysterious lot, so think twice before you open your door to a Cantab, lest they steal your start-up and leave you cold and alone, bitterly shilling pistachios in your Brooks Brothers. As a host, you’ll also have to introduce this human to the idea of “fun,” so proceed gently and with caution. Be kind. They’re new at this. Teaching a Cantab how to have fun/dougie is harder than it might sound, because remember, they don’t have a key to your room and can’t even swipe into your entryway, so you can’t just tell them “ttyl” when they’re being annoying at some party you graciously invited them to.

In the end, though, Harvard students are sort of like us (only not really), or at least in the same genus, so help a brother out and spare your futon, if you can. It’ll only be a night.

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