Tag Archive: Linda Lorimer

  1. Students petition Lorimer for pope

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    Yalies have drafted an official petition to the White House urging President Barack Obama to nominate University Vice President and Yale’s Holiest Celebrity Linda Koch Lorimer to the papacy.

    The petition was created after Lorimer announced that classes would be canceled on Tuesday, marking the fourth time classes have been canceled this academic year. Before Superstorm Sandy this October, Yale had not canceled classes in 34 years. This morning, Pope Benedict XVI made the equally shocking announcement that he was resigning from the papacy, effective Feb. 28, making him the first pope to resign from the position since 1415.

    That the two seemingly impossible events should take place just hours from each other suggests divine orchestration.

    Lorimer has been known to inspire ecstatic behavior among the undergraduate population. On receiving her emails, students have been reported to raise their hands in praise, chanting in unison elated phrases such as “Sunday night Toads!”

    The petition for Lorimer as pope has been circulating rapidly through Facebook and YaleMail, as have a number of other memes depicting Lorimer as a divine figure. For instance, in recognition of Lorimer’s miracle-working powers, several Yalies have Photoshopped the vice president’s head onto various depictions of Christ.

    As of 8 p.m. this evening, the petition had acquired only 23 signatures, far short of its goal of 100,000 by March 13. I urge you to recognize the divine among us by adding your name to the cause.

  2. New CEID café seeks name, logo

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    Want to impress Linda Lorimer, win a gift card and have your wit displayed for eternity in one fell swoop? The Center for Engineering Innovation and Design is hosting a logo and name competition for its new café, which will open on Jan. 22 on the first floor of the Becton Center.

    Members of the Yale community may submit as many entries as they wish, individually or with a partner. Winning entries will be selected by a group of four judges including University Vice President Linda Lorimer, School of Engineering & Applied Science Dean Kyle Vanderlick, School of Art graphic design critic Michael Bierut and University Printer John Gambell.

    The selected name and logo will be featured prominently both in the café and on printed materials about the space. Winners will also receive gift cards to the café for an undisclosed amount.

    The contest is open until 5 p.m. on Jan. 25. Results will be announced before spring break.

    There will not necessarily be a winner: The panel may also select none of the entries. So don’t embarrass yourself, Yale.