The term “SWUG,” suffocatingly popular, has swept our campus, and now, the entire nation like a pandemic. Its exploding popularity has thrown the rest of us out of the spotlight and under the bus, and we feel a profound injustice. Here’s a list of key Yale terms that will hopefully help bring us, too, from anonymity to acronym.
SWOO: Senior Without Options. The senior slowly realizing her/she has no career or romantic options after graduation.
BOYS: Burnt Out Yale Student. Took six credits one too many times (once) and needs a full year off to recover.
BaCK: Bass Cafe Kid. Do you even do any work, or do you just sit in the brown chairs and wait for friends to show up?
LiSH: Liberated Senior Honey. Often confused with a SWUG, a LiSH is a fly girl or boy who has realized college is too short to do anything (or anyone) other than what he or she wants .
SWOS: Student Without Standards. It’s hipster. Don’t worry about it.
FatBro: The frat guy who drank so much he’s no longer robustly athletic, he’s just fat.
DKE-Scusting: The ninth circle of male unattractiveness. Probably wearing a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off.
Life of PiPhi: The sorority girl who muploads her every waking moment.
SHAP: Should Have Attended Princeton. Where are all the husbands and eating clubs?
BoCAG: Banking or Consulting After Graduation. Interests include: designer suits, spreadsheets and gold stickers.
SWAH: Sophomore Who’s Always High. Hunh?
CATSIP: Considers Acceptable To Sing In Public? Oh, you have jam next week? Why pay $5 for milk when I got the cow for free all semester?
JOWJ: Junior, Only Wants a Job. Will evolve into a BoCAG.
SAPS: Student Always Protesting Something. Cross Campus = second home, portable whiteboards = critical possession, believes = all other Yalies are heartless jerks.
SWONF: Senior With Oddly No Friends. What have you been doing for the past three years? Realizes he has been befriending extracurriculars and not people.
SSLaR: Secretly Sexy Lab Rat. That super hot person you’ve only seen in Sterling Chem Lab.
UGH: Unreachable Gay Hottie. Doesn’t play for your team, and thus the main source of your angst.
SIDH: Sneaks Into Dining Hall. Time to get on the meal plan.
DOB: Drinks Only in Bass. Nothing like a few shots to get pumped for a problem set.
DJAL: Dat Junior Ass-Licker. We didn’t know there was a varisty social climbing team.
PW: Percy Weasleys. Takes IMs/College Council/tour guiding too seriously.
NoGAS: Nobody Gives a Shit. Enough said.