In an effort to make the admissions process more fair and to ensure that students “know their place” as soon as they arrive in New Haven, University President Richard Levin on Sunday announced a new, annual competition for admission to the University: the Amy Hungerford Games.
When only one spot in the class of 2016 remains, 24 contestants from the various geographic districts will be randomly selected from the University’s waitlist, said Levin, flanked by Dean of Student Affairs Marichal Gentry, newly minted Morse College Master Amy Hungerford and Yale spokesman Michael Morand at a Sunday press conference.
Once selected, the contestants will be delivered to Woodbridge Hall, where they will be trained in the art of getting a job in finance and BS-ing their way through section. They will then travel to an arena in an undisclosed location — rumored sites include Singapore, Yale-in-London and Skull and Bones’ Deer Island — where they will fight to the death. The lone victor will earn a place in the class of 2016.
“Picking which students to admit each year is just so tough,” Levin said. “Jane and I went to go see the movie this weekend and LOVED the idea of tributes battling it out to prove their worth. So, we thought, why not bring it to Yale?”
The Amy Hungerford Games — named after Hungerford because Levin thought the wordplay was “kinda funny” — will be held in late May. Yale College Dean Mary Miller said she hopes the new initiative will reinforce the message the administration has sent by banning freshman fall rush and reining in tailgates.
“As we prepare for a rowdy Spring Fling headlined by the ever-rambunctious ‘T-Pain,’ we were looking for a way to ensure that students remember they have no power relative to Woodbridge,” Miller said. “Again, President Levin has demonstrated his ability to think outside the box and find a solution agreeable to all.”
Administrators said they have not consulted with University General Counsel Dorothy Robinson regarding the legality of the games, “because, whatever,” according to Levin. Hungerford will direct the event as its inaugural “gamemaker,” while Morand will serve as its master of ceremonies.
“Isn’t it just so clever?” Levin said. “I’m just tickled pink about these new Games, and I’m thrilled to see what Amy comes up with as gamemaker! Happy Hungerford Games!”
On this April Fool’s Day, may the odds be ever in your favor.