1) Not hot
Is a pretentious twit, doesn’t have James Franco’s winning smile.
2) Asks you to lead section next week
Wait, isn’t that, like, your job?
3) Two words: reading responses
Five words: I didn’t do the reading!
4) No laptops in section
But J.Crew has a 50 percent off sale — I mean, I want to take copious notes.
5) Reminds you of your depressing future post-Yale
That is, if I don’t get that consulting job.
6) Thinks the section asshole’s comments are deeply insightful
Can’t you see he’s just a slightly better bullshitter than the rest of us?
7) Terrible office hours
4:15-4:32 p.m. on Prospect Street.
8) Is hot …
But refuses to take you to GPSCY.
9) Only reads paper drafts turned in two weeks in advance
And when I actually manage to send it in on time, he replies, “This looks good.”
10) Calls on you when you’re not raising your hand
I still didn’t do the reading.