At a swanky downtown lounge, a sultry brunette sits with her back to the bar. She plays with her drink, plays with her hair, plays coy with the rest of the room. Just once, her eyes meet yours and linger for a little longer than they should. You are sitting 10 feet away. In three seconds, you will walk up and seduce her.
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Right now, you’re a little nervous, trying to figure out how to do it. After all, you can approach her directly (gutsy), from her two o’clock (disarming), or from behind (not recommended). Your advance can be fast — or slow — as long as you control for the speed of gait (unhurried), degree of neck contortion (look the opposite direction), and level of feigned disinterest (high). Your facial expression can be calm, lively, arrogant, or critical. And then there are the first words that come out of your mouth: the low-risk, low-reward, “Hi!” or “Do you know what time it is?”; the extreme, “I love you. Do you want to marry me?” (sprinkle liberally with faux-seriousness); or the middle-of-the-road, “Who do you think lies more, men or women?” in the hope that she bites onto the question. Once this verbal foxtrot begins, remain conscious of where you place your eyes: looking inside the triangle created by her eyes and nose engenders friendship, concentrating on the triangle between her eyes and chest signals romantic intentions. Remember to hold your palms slightly open, facing her, as a subtle indicator of receptivity. Maintain an energy level slightly higher than hers. Finally, segregate her movements and respond accordingly, whether it’s her hands,  smile, body angle, pelvic tilt, or environmental cues. Don’t forget: this is just the first five seconds. Rinse, repeat, and please, try to act like you’re having fun.
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The idea of seduction  as a methodological process began in 1970 with the release of Eric Weber’s How to Pick Up Girls — a compendium of rag-tag ideas predicated on intuition and common sense. In 1992, Ross Jeffries, an advocate for the now-obsolete psychotherapy neuro-linguistic programming, released How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed; the book catalyzed the formation of the Internet newsgroup alt.seduction.fast, where pick-up artists exchanged and debated insights. The sub-culture lay dormant for the next 10 years. In 2005, Neil Strauss’s Bildungsroman, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pick-up Artists — made to look like a Bible, gold trim and all — tipped the seduction community into the culture’s mainstream. The book appeared as Amazon.com’s #1 seller and spent two months on the New York Times bestseller list. Soon after, TV shows like VH1’s “The Pickup Artist” and Comedy Network’s “Keys to the VIP” appeared. Hundreds of companies: Real Social Dynamics, Same Night Seduction, Date Hotter Girls, Charisma Arts Products, 60 Years of Challenge, DiCarlo DiClassified, and StyleLife Academy produced e-books, DVDs, online workshops, podcasts, and home study CDs. Today, you can enroll in a seduction boot camp, which consists of a two to three day “field trip” to clubs with a seasoned pick-up artist.
But why the need for the seduction community in the first place? It was created to mitigate another equalizing movement: the original sexual revolution. In Make Love, Not War: The Sexual Revolution: An Unfettered History, Princeton’s David Allyn notes that the institution of marriage started to erode in the 1960s. Improved economic independence for women, the introduction of birth control — boosted by Lyndon Johnson’s endorsement of The Pill — and an overarching liberal attitude helped reshape society. In the 2000s, even dating was usurped by the hook-up. As Benoit Denizet-Lewis of the New York Times Magazine notes, “Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex. Under the new model, you hook up a few times and, if you really like the person, you might consider going on a date.”  Popular culture now encourages sexual self-expression, evinced by shows like “Sex and the City.” 
The result? According to Patricia Cohen of the New York Times, the average marriage age in 1980 was 22. In 2010, it was 27 for men and 26 for women. Divorce is increasing: in 1975, rates hovered around 20% for first marriages. Today, the rate is around 33%. While the 1950s male is confined to one sexual partner (and discreet trysts), the 2000s male can take home a different woman every night, a benefit of expanded sexual freedom.  There are more available women than ever, implying, presumably, that there is more no-strings-attached sex up for grabs. 
But the truth is more nuanced. The 2009 Census showed that 31% of the U.S. male population has had fewer than three sexual partners in their lifetimes, while 23% of U.S. males have had over 15 sexual partners in their lifetimes. As Charlotte Allen of the Weekly Standard writes, while “the main beneficiaries of the sexual revolution are men, it is only some men,” namely, the alphas,  who have “good looks, self-confidence, and swagger.” All other males can be shuttered into two categories: beta males,  who are equipped with economic resources but “just want to get by,” and omega males,  who have no agency to pursue anything romantic owing from traumatic experience and learned helplessness. This dichotomy is what Allen calls a “New Paleolithic.” Humans are sexually dimorphic, meaning our mating system inherently trends toward mild polygyny. When marriage dominated society, our evolutionary leanings were largely suppressed. In the current sexual climate, where females have prolonged, uninhibited access to a pool of alpha males, the betas and omegas can no longer brandish the veneer of marriage to secure a mate. Sex is apportioned disproportionately by a mating hierarchy. There is a fierce dichotomy: the alpha male and the AFC — average frustrated chump. 
While is it tempting to think that sexual liberation increased access for all males, D.C. blogger Roissy  sums it up differently: “It is actually beta men who are the greatest victims of the current mating chaos: the ones who work hard, act nice, and find themselves searching in vain for potential wives and girlfriends among the hordes of young women besotted by alphas.”
Awash in pain and envy, these average frustrated chumps formulated the “science” of seduction. Their goal was simple: make social interactions quantifiable,  elucidate optimal strategies,  and illuminate the female psyche.  Determine the five types of attraction, define approach on a six-stage risk-reward continuum,  and find the 44 indicators of interest.  Crunch numbers. Create commandments. Connect connoisseurs. The beta and omega males who started the community were simply looking for a way to transcend their genetics.
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Seduction is a science. Its study is grounded by an esoteric syntax,  universal principles and evolving hypotheses. Influenced by books like Buss’s The Evolution of Desire, Wright’s The Moral Animal, and Ridley’s The Red Queen, the seduction community has come to believe that females are looking for a specific set of traits: health, social intuition, status, and pre-selection — whether other females demonstrate a desire for said male.  In our dynamic social environment, though, females have a hard time picking out this type of man — especially under the glare of a club’s strobe light. This is where seduction comes in. Mystery, author of How to Get Beautiful Women into Bed,  posits that these traits can be represented by a proxy. One example is “peacocking” — dressing garishly, say, in lime-green Chuck Taylors — because, done correctly, it exudes confidence, status, and wealth. This idea is supported by evolutionary psychology:  Zahavi’s handicap principle states that males with exaggerated traits (think peacocks and butterflies) are desirable because these “handicaps” can only be handled by a male who is innately very fit. 
Seduction methodology can be bifurcated into “outer game” and “inner game.” Outer game is the pick-up artist’s techniques; it is rooted in social psychology. Margaret Wilson of the University of Santa Cruz notes that the mind and body have a bi-directional relationship: our thoughts influence our actions, but subtle changes in our environment — temperature, smell, and orientation — unconsciously influence our thought processes as well. In 2008, Yale professor John Bargh discovered that people who held warm coffee in their hands were more generous and caring than those who held iced tea; physical warmth creates interpersonal warmth. Similar experiments have proved that pulling creates more attraction than pushing; standing up straight increases confidence; mirroring someone’s actions, whether she tilts her head or drums her fingertips on the table, will make you seem more relatable.  Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick of Northwestern University found that in speed dating, the gender rotating the tables was less selective about future partners. This means that instead of approaching a woman, flip the script and make her come to you.  At your next coffee date, then: order something warm, pull her hand, sit up straight, mimic her gestures, and sit down first.
The above findings are merely fragments of an aggregate body of knowledge that guide how a pick-up artist should act and what he should say. And as always, you don’t have to buy any of this. If you’re an old-school seduction engineer, just move to the woman’s right ear  and give her a backhanded compliment — better known, of course, as a neg. 
“Inner game” is the other half of seduction. It is the genuine, intransigent belief that you — excuse the language — are “the shit.” That you are the prize. That you are an intrinsically attractive, valuable human being. Inner game helps to take the woman “off the pedestal.” This confidence is the crux of seduction. Memorizing lines is useless if the words don’t echo with blunt swagger.
To develop inner game requires inculcation akin to progressing through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). According to Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders: an Evidence-based Guide, CBT emphasizes time-specific analysis and exploration to transform the “beliefs, feelings, and behaviors associated with psychological disturbance.” Inner game manuals model a similar plan to activate the ego ideal. Neil Strauss’s Rules of the Game asks novice pick-up artists to, before entering any social environment, visualize limiting beliefs — then rationally overlook them. The philosophy is, “Think and you will be.”  Pithy one-liners, like “Nothing is ever such a big deal”; “If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong”; and “Maintain irrational confidence at all times” are repeated and doused with meaning, example and consequence. Inner game’s goal is to truly, in your heart of hearts, believe that seduction is nothing more than a game where you, the player, have been granted infinite lives and boundless power-ups, and that any challenge, however difficult, can be met. Outer game informs the abilities of the player, but inner game allows entrance into the game — it endows the belief that the pick-up artist can actually win. 
The tactics and thought processes listed above — which barely graze seduction’s opus — are overwrought and overly complex, to be sure. But to wannabe pick-up artists, the obstacles warrant the effort. Outside of being a superstar celebrity  or a death row inmate,  physical attractiveness, and, to a lesser extent, personality, have been the unchallenged glass ceiling on opposite-sex success.  Now that comprehensive field reports, social circle mastery, pyramid theory, and investment equilibrium are de rigueur for the field, the beta male — trumpets blazing and timpani pounding — is back.
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This is why the air of misogyny surrounding seduction is misplaced: Allen of the Weekly Standard notes that the current dating environment is polygamy for alpha males, hypergamy for females, and masturbation and virtual reality (along with the occasional girlfriend) for beta and omega males. The roots of the seduction community come not from objectifying women; they stem from its vision to equalize male sexual opportunity.  There are men born without the “pretty” gene. Men without a clue about female psychology. Men too scared to stick a foot into the courtship dance. These men stand to benefit most.  Seduction provides hope: that the woman “out of your league” is in fact possible to attract.
It is true that a better looking man does better than an average-looking man. That the rich do better than the poor. The famous, over the plebian. But Game can turn everything around. It sounds like egalitarian wishfulness, but the seduction community has one basic premise, one ringing promise that, while cliché, exudes extraordinary warmth at its core: the aim of the Game is to allow every man to attract the woman of his dreams.
“Oh my god, my nose is so off-center!”
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You are sitting across from an HB8,  who is wearing a V-neck, paisley indigo sweater and low-cut, slim-fit distressed jeans. You’ve memorized the seminal tomes — Greene’s Seduction, DeAngelo’s Cocky Comedy, Savoy’s Magic Bullets — and now you’ve managed to Meet, Transition, Attract, and Qualify your way to this first date. According to pick-up artist Mystery, the next step is to build Comfort: tone down dismissive and cocky overtones from the initial encounter, solidify and sustain attraction, establish an emotional connection, increase physical touching — with appropriate pacing and pinging,  of course — and manage the situation smoothly, naturally, effortlessly, so that she (before being conscious of it) feels completely comfortable around you. The Comfort phase, it is universally agreed, requires at least a couple of hours. But now! She’s just thrown a shit test at you!  Thankfully, you’ve planned for this exigency: 10 minutes ago, you excused yourself to use the bathroom, during which time you took out your iPhone to read what our friend Roissy had to say about a woman making a self-deprecating remark about her own looks.
There are five responses to what Roissy terms a ‘self-depreciation shit test’ (SDST):
- Validate her. “What are you talking about? I think you’re beautiful.”
- Playfully invalidate her. “Does that mean you can smell around corners?”
- Tangentially agree. “At least your personality’s not.”
- Ignore the comment. “Hey, did you like the wine? 1787 Chateau Lafite  is my favorite!”
- Reframe. “Do you always talk about yourself like this?”
You systematically deconstruct the options.  The first response, validation, is crucial in a long-term relationship — but on a first date, too sappy, meek, and unoriginal. The third option, tangential agreement, goes too far the opposite direction: it’s glancing but abrasive; the remark might linger far longer than you want it to. The fourth option, feigning ignorance, is neutral — neither compromising your position nor advancing comfort — but is always a last resort. The second option, playful invalidation, is non-standard and confidence-inducing: teasing almost always shakes out a few laughs. Most socially calibrated males invalidate. You go for the jugular: re-framing. It diffuses a potentially explosive topic, and redirects the conversation’s consciousness towards a meta-analysis of her own character that, if done tactfully, engenders introspection (taking the pressure off your response).
A mote of time has passed. You slowly crease your lips, pierce into your date’s marble-green eyes, then gently — with a tiny upwards lilt — say the line you have stored away for the last 10 minutes.
- If her hands are on her face, she is either lying or bored.
- French neuroanatomist Duchenne de Bologne wrote in 1862 that the difference between real and fake smiles is the contraction of the orbicularis oculi muscle, which controls the eyelids. This muscle is “only put in play by the sweet emotions of the soul; the…fake joy, the deceitful laugh, cannot provoke the contraction of this latter muscle.” How to detect a real smile? The skin around the eye will tighten, pulling the cheeks upward and the forehead downward.
- While environmental cues are not directly related to female physiology, awareness of your surroundings is crucial to detect and sidestep potential competitors, create inside jokes, and transition to different locations.
- “Seduction” and “pick-up” have different nuances (pick-up artists dislike the term “seduction” because of its negative connotation), but here we will take them equally.
- LoveSystems, one of the leaders in the industry (it has around 130,000 forum participants), charges $2999 for a three day boot camp — with a $999 deposit — in locations from London to Calgary to Philadelphia to San Francisco to Sydney.
- A personal observation: the hook-up culture is largely absent in first-generation households, though rebellious and curious teenagers will probably all converge to reflect these 2001 Bowling Green State University study results: of the 55% of 11th-graders who engaged in intercourse, 60% said they’d had sex with somebody who was no more than a friend.
- TIME Magazine calls “Sex and the City” one of the best TV shows ever. During its six-year run, Samantha, who is almost 50, has sex with 41 men and one woman. Jane Gerhard, writing in Feminist Media Studies, notes that Samantha’s copious number of partners is actually tangential to the main theme, which is the show’s examination of the history of the sexual revolution through Carrie’s narrative. Gerhard explains that Carrie “must reconcile the contrary pulls of wanting true love and wanting a good lover, wanting independence and wanting a husband.”
- Taking home a different woman every night is thrilling, not just psychologically but physiologically. An old joke about President Calvin Coolidge, involving eggs, roosters, and witty retorts, the text of which is too banal to be reproduced here, gave birth to the term “Coolidge Effect,” which describes a phenomenon where males, when given a new copulation partner, drastically decrease their post-ejaculatory “re-awakening” time. This arousal has been documented in many mammalian species. The female’s attractiveness does not matter, nor does time between ejaculations — just having a variety in copulation partners is physiologically pleasing.
- This author is not trying to imply anything causal with these statistics; he is just pointing out a correlation that implies the sexual revolution might have caused the destruction of the family unit. That, and pornography.
- The term “alpha male” has many definitions, but you only need one: George Clooney.
- In all likelihood, you are a beta male.
- While it is hard to pin down exactly what percentage of the male population falls into each category, let’s sub-divide the current distinctions to make this framework sound more scientific. Jessica Grose of Slate Magazine derives a taxonomy of omegas: The Liberal Arts Layabout, The Mimbo, Beer Guy, and The Game Boy.
- The truth is a bit more complicated. While humans are sexually dimorphic — males are bigger than females, and have more upper body strength (by 50%), body hair, weight and height; they also have deeper voices, riskier life histories, and more prominent chins — males also have heavier testes, more sperm, and the largest and widest penis of any primate (chimpanzees, gorillas, and orangutans included). In the animal kingdom, having such large reproductive organs is not correlated to sexual dimorphism — it is an anti-cuckoldry tactic (anti-cheating). This evidence points towards a human mating system of polyandry: if females have multiple sugar daddies, males fight back by, well, evolving massive penises that can produce as much sperm as possible. Countervailing evidence in anthropology, though, notes that 83% of traditional human cultures practice polygyny (one male mates with multiple females), putting us right in line with the rest of the mammals (98% practice polygyny). Finally, looking at child rearing confuses things further: human males are parentally invested in their children, which indicates a system of monogamy. Given this conflicting evidence, psychologists have come to a multifaceted conclusion: we are a mildly polygynous species that practices occasional polyandry. Which is to say that males cheat on females, and females cheat on males.
- A standard reference for anyone who knows anything about pick-up.
- Roissy is a blogger from our nation’s capital, whose commentary, as the Allen of the Weekly Standard puts it, “combines Darwinian analysis, harshly hilarious commentary about the current erotic landscape, graphically raw accounts of…pickup adventures, and a sense of impending social meltdown.”
- That social interactions have to be quantifiable to be understood is quite old hat for males. In 1789, Giacomo Casanova† (yes, that one) wrote that “without speech, the pleasure of love is diminished by at least two-thirds.” The way he conveys his point — by singling out “two-thirds” as the proper proportion of diminishment — symbolizes an intrinsic male predilection towards using numbers to construct an intelligible, universal language. †To augment the above-mentioned quote, here’s another about how Casanova liked women for more than their looks: “After all, a beautiful woman without a mind of her own leaves her lover with no resource after he had physically enjoyed her charms.”
- One optimal strategy is the 3:2 rule. For every three texts, send her two.
- The female psyche responds to sensory-laced speech. Women, when agreeing with you, will evoke sight, sound, or touch in their responses: “I feel you.” “I hear that.” “I see that.” Depending on which system she taps into, tailor your speech to match the receptivity channel.
- Pick-up artist Mr. M has written about the five different ways to build attraction. It might not be MECE (mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive), but it’s a start. You can be: fun-loving, intriguing, a leader, the “guy next door,” or a soul mate (make her feel as if your encounters are kismet). Or, you can just be really, really hot.
- A particularly adept reader might note that these risk-reward openers were mentioned in the first paragraph of this essay. An even more engaged reader will ask about the three openers that were not mentioned. The first is the situational opener, which uses the environment: “I love this music.” It is banal and oft-repeated, so please do not use one unless it is actually interesting — but at the same time, don’t use one that seems too try-hard (see how hard Game is?). The second opener is…no opener: walk up and start talking as if you were in a conversation already. This works surprisingly well in frenetic, open environments, where people are already mingling. Finally, the screening opener: signal your intentions implicitly by asking her why you should be interested: “I saw you from over there and wanted to see what you were like.”
- My favorite indicators of interest: “She plays with her hair while talking to you.” “She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.” “She returns your calls.”
- They might not have done such a good job with this one. Here’s a snippet of seduction terminology: “Maintained strong frame control @ ~98%. This percentage never dropped throughout all of the sub-Phases & even post-S3. Anything I threw @ him — he had the right response: used IOIs/IODs/SOIs/NEGs/BHRR. [He did this also post-S3, which activated ASDefense Mechanism & kicked up its Resistance Factor to ~40%, then ~70%].” Still, understanding this is probably easier than figuring out why your girlfriend is mad at you right now.
- Of course, a standard psychology textbook says differently: attraction is the product of waist-to-hip ratio, propinquity, similarity, physical attractiveness, and reward and social exchange theory.
- Not to be confused with Jeffries’ How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed.
- Here’s a general primer: reproductive fitness is the capacity to pass one’s genes onto subsequent generations. According to Laurie Santos of Yale University, females do this by seeking males who can provide emotional and economic fidelity. Males do this by having more sexual partners — unless they enter into a life-long monogamous relationship, in which case, the actual male strategy is to be choosy: find a fertile mate with good genes, and ensure paternal certainty (e.g. no cheating).
- Why females have certain preferences to begin with is a harder question to answer, but for humans, symmetry is part of the equation. In 1994, researchers Thornhill and Gangestad measured 100 different body parts for symmetry on undergraduate students and discovered that men with more symmetry had sex three to four years earlier than their counterparts.
- Baaren, Holland, Kawakami, and Knippenberg, in the oft-cited psychology study “Mimicry and Prosocial Behavior,” discovered that people who had been mimicked were subsequently more generous and helpful. This is quite a finding, and applicable in a bevy of situations. Here’s an experiment you can try at home: next time you are talking tête-à-tête, try positioning your hands like her hands. Nod your head when she nods. Squirm uncomfortably when she does. Then drop six pens on the ground accidentally. According to the study, she should pick them up at a higher rate than if you hadn’t mimicked her at all.
- There are various ways to maintain a position of power, but the easiest and least often done is to start off with your back to the bar. Power dynamics are trickier when you have to approach — she will invariably be leaning against something solid while you are approaching from the open. If she is seated and you are standing, that’s even harder. The solution? A typical move is to hold her hand and ask her to stand up so you can “show her something.” When she does, give her a little twirl, and sit in her seat. Then grin and tell her that you’ve taken her seat. Now she’s on the outside, and will evaluate you less harshly — and unconsciously feel as if she approached you.
- Whispering into her right ear means you’re talking directly to her left brain. Her left brain is the intuitive-reasoning half, better known as the neural substrate you have a better chance with tonight.
- The neg is the most mainstream (and thus most contentious) term in all of pick-up, and deserves special mention here. Neg theory evolved from 9/10 game — strategies for wooing stunningly beautiful women — as its nuclear weapon. Gorgeous women, as the story goes, are great at brushing off men. They will snub compliments and insults with equal ease. But what if you compliment her — and then target her insecurity? This is the neg, an action that Mystery says is “made to briefly and without insult disqualify oneself from being perceived as a potential suitor.” The neg cuts to the philosophical core of wooing a beautiful woman: the only way to her heart is to be invulnerable to her looks. As a disqualification tool, the neg “inadvertently” betrays you noticing her imperfections. For example, take the neg, “I really like your skirt. I saw someone else just wearing it.” It is a compliment, because you have noticed what she is wearing; it is a reframing device, because it makes her self-conscious; it also a disqualifier, because suitors usually praise, not offer dispassionate observation. There are three types of negs. The shotgun neg is a quick statement that conveys romantic disinterest. It works in group settings and its power lies in the signaler’s sincerity: “Where’s her off button?” The sniper neg is a brief statement about her physical qualities. It lowers her relative status in the conversation: “Eww, you just spit on me!” The tease neg, which can be thought of as deliberate flirting, is used most. It conveys a cocky, fun attitude and pushes back on the seesaw of control. For example: if she trips, say “Careful, there’s a lot of gravity over there.” With all three types of negs, the key is to “throw and go,” making sure after the neg is executed you return to the original conversation without waiting for a response.
- The site PUALingo.com states, “Our thoughts become actions, our actions become behavior, our behavior becomes character, and our character becomes our destiny.”
- Of course, the real question is if the male who spits Game can actually win: even if he creates an initial attraction, won’t the façade wear away in a relationship? (Assuming, of course, there will be a relationship.) Probably not. There are two reasons. The first is that inner game, when executed properly, changes a personality permanently, because a “legitimate” lifestyle is established to bolsters the new self. The second is that attraction itself will cause the woman to love the pick-up artist for who he is, regardless of his personality foibles. For those in need of extra advice, a new field — relationship game — has burgeoned, and could easily be the topic of another 5,000 word article.
- As of this article’s publication, Tiger Woods has had 14 alleged mistresses.
- Scott Peterson, the Modesto resident convicted of murdering his wife and unborn son, has received letters, calls, and two marriage proposals while on death row, presumably because some find perverse fame amorous, unthinkable violence masculine, and inevitable parting romantic. Roissy generalizes this infatuation: “For every woman who writes love poems to cold-blooded killers, there are one hundred women whose hearts beat fast for an asshole who cheats, a jerk who lies, or an alpha who dominates.”
- For women evaluating men, a nostalgic high school rule of thumb is that looks hold 30% and personality holds 70% importance. For males the percentages are swapped.
- While there are arguments against the manipulation and objectification of women, the majority of men (seriously) who engage in the community have far less ambitious motivations: they simply do not want to end up alone.
- This is the crux of seduction: beta and omega males gain the most. An alpha male is already at potential output: he has a girlfriend or can attain one easily. Game will help him attract better looking women, but the gains at each increasing level of beauty diminish. For non-alpha males, seduction not only helps him snag a decent looking girlfriend, but it also prevents prolonged dry spells. And once he has Game, the non-alpha has two options: continue to move up the ladder, or use the freed-up psychic energy to pursue other fruitful ventures.
- Hot Blonde—or in this case, Hot Brunette; she’s an 8/10.
- “Kino” is the erudite term for flirtatious touching. Your job is to kino a woman until both of you “ping,” which is when touching is reciprocated at increasingly shorter intervals.
- “Shit Test”: a divisive statement that a female — consciously or not — will throw out to test a man’s social status. Examples include: “I have a boyfriend.” “Why are you looking at my shoes?” “I think I’ll be the one giving out the gold stars, not you.”
- According to Forbes.com, this bottle of wine was owned by Thomas Jefferson, who in addition to being the third President of the U.S., a philosopher, and a scientist, was an oenophile. He acquired it at the Bordeaux vineyard while serving as ambassador to France; the bottle, now worth $160,000, is undrinkable due to old age. One method commonly used in seduction is to sneak prepared non-sequiturs into conversation. This way dialogue traverses a well-beaten path, allowing for control and anticipation of future discussion threads.
- As in any field of study, the genius — the innovation — lies not in memorizing facts, but being flexible enough to apply them to novel and ambiguous situations.
- The topic of validation is where pick-up sophistry most diverges from lay reasoning. Complimenting women, according to Mystery, only boosts their egos, and should never be used alone; the push-pull dynamic is what really builds emotional momentum. Examples of push-pull game: “I feel so good around you…too bad you’re not my type.” “Oh my God! You’re an English major? I can’t talk to you anymore.”
- Surprised? Don’t be. There are many lines available to the pick-up artist, but the optimal response depends on who you are — and can be chosen only after you assess your environment, gauge the current emotional momentum, identify tipping points in her personality, and determine potential veins of conversation. Seduction is a science, silly.