Kamdar: Tech is bringing sexy back

This is a relationship advice column in the Science and Technology section of the News.

Yes, I’m going to spend the next however-long-it-takes-you-to-read-this to convince you that (thesis:) being tech-savvy is sexy. Really sexy. Like, long-walks-on-the-beach sexy.

Stop laughing. Think of how many damsels (and man-damsels) in distress the student techs have saved.

Programmers, Web entrepreneurs and technologists are riding the wave of the future, and it’s easy to rent your own proverbial surfboard and hop on too. High five! You’re on your way to becoming very attractive. You like where this is going. Now, let’s think about all the awesome stuff headed your way.

People like people who are competent.

Or rather, let’s say that people like people who are digitally literate. Being digitally literate means you can figure out what makes a device beep. You have unwavering patience with error messages. You upload with confidence and download with ease. Your presentations are flawless, and you’re accustomed to spreadsheets. If you’re digitally literate, you can find the ever elusive “on” button. Handy around the house used to mean you could put a table together. That’s cool and all, except now we have Ikea furniture, where the instructions are more confusing than the actual assembly. Welcome to the age of digitally literate badass. Drop that hammer, bud. If you can’t fix the wireless router, there goes that candlelit Netflix-streamed movie night you’ve been planning.

People like people who are creative.

When you’re tech-savvy, you churn out nifty applications, innovations and websites in a single weekend — just for kicks. You synthesize songs, Photoshop pictures and shoot short films — for free. You then remix those tunes, reshape those images and rework those movies — for the lulz. Paint is messy and sculpting tools are sharp. Building a fan base over years (or, even worse, after you die) is boring. You, the next generation artists, are accustomed to instant fame, with millions of eyes reviewing your digital creations mere seconds after you hit “submit.”

People like people with a taste for success.

Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Michael Dell, Mark Zuckerberg, Sergey Brin and Larry Page rock at what they do. A few of them didn’t go to college. Even fewer of them were prom kings. All of them are tech-savvy. And all of them are zillionaires.

People like people who are good looking.

Thank the hipsters — big glasses are so hot right now. Nerd stereotypes aside, I … can’t help you with this.

People like people who know people.

In online communities, your social circles are as enormous as you want them to be. Your new friends can know you as the person on your Facebook, as a tiger-headed Second Life avatar or as AllYourBase42. Your actions and posts will bring you fame or notoriety. Instead of being “that guy,” you’ll become “that guy who did this.”

People like people who are funny.

Remember that hilarious LOLcat your friends saw last night? You created that. The Auto-Tuned song calling out a bed intruder? Yeah, you saw that like a month ago. That “double rainbow” guy? He’s in your phonebook. Pretentious? We prefer the term jacked-in.

So, the point? Pick up that manual, watch a few YouTube tutorials and realize the future is here. And it’s damn sexy.

Comments

  • johnnydrama

    tech savvy + sexy = texsy?