Earlier this week, I received an invitation on Facebook to an ADPhi-hosted event called “Drink for the Homeless.” Guests are encouraged not only “to drink for the homeless” but also to “DRESS like you are homeless,” which is, according to the fraternity brothers, “just as important.” Hedonism for Poverty events of this ilk are quite commonplace at Yale. In mixing rhyme scheme, alliteration, and collegiate kitsch with the likes of terminal illness and genocide, Yale excels in self-serving service to those in need.
I have compiled a list of both real and imagined Hedonism for Poverty events. Ridiculous? Maybe. Effective? Perhaps, but probably not. Real? See if you can tell.
Beer-ia for Syria
Undressed for the Midwest
PBR 4 MPB (Male Pattern Baldness)
S’Mores for Darfur (roasted S’Mores on Old Campus to raise awareness of the Genocide)
Pancakes for Poverty
Go Brunette for Tibette (as a form of solidarity, of course)
Kiss Away Cancer
Wear Plaid for Chad (a benefit for the oppressed Scottish community in Chad)
Gonad or Go Home (Testicular Cancer Benefit)
Dance for Darfur
Beers for Jews for Jesus for Darfur at Yale
Party for the Fartie (it’s a real problem, let’s get serious about finding a cure)
Madness 4 Mauritius (the madness involved heavy drinking, I believe)
Poop for Peace
Drinkin’ for Lincoln
Justice for Scotland
Hugs for Haiti
Boobies for Freedom
January for February
Get Younger for Hunger (I envision this to involve plastic surgery)
Reach Out Milwaukee
Pub Crawl 4 Life
Floor Lamps for Menstrual Cramps
Tango for Tetnus
Kiss Away Cancer
Bongos for the Congos
Penne for Pasta
Sake Bombing for Bollywood
Drink for the Homeless
Ping Pong for Phnom Penh
Raise the Roof for the Homeless
Bakesale for BadStuff
Poppin’ for Haiti
Sam Tsui for Wounded Knee
Wine and Brie for the Na’Vi
Fornicate for Food Poisoning
Leopard Print for Leprosy
Streak for Widow’s Peak
Snuggle for Struggle
Snuggles for Puggles (mix between a pug and a beagle)
Jocks for Prairie Fox
Donuts for Dry Skin and Mild to Moderate Leg Cramps for Charity
Inebriate 2 Educate
Toad’s Place for Samuel Chase (signatory to the United States Declaration of Independence)
Get it on for the Amazon (River Basin)
Find a Cure for Ugly
FarmVille for Mad Cow
The Real Deal: S’Mores for Darfur, Pancake for Poverty, Kiss Away Cancer, Dance for Darfur, Madness 4 Mauritius, Drinkin’ for Lincoln, Hugs for Haiti, Pub Crawl 4 Life, Bongos for the Congos, Raise the Roof for the Homeless, Inebriate 2 Educate