Thought it was impossible to “journey into the other realm” in the Elm City?

Well, thanks to (the press copy of) Alchemy Nighclub and Elevate Lounge, you won’t have to wait to see James Doohan at Comic-Con.

The Yellow Monopoly of Crown Street, Alchemy hits you with a trans-dimensional triple nightclub experience. Walk in from its College Street entrance, and you’re hit with its Ventnor Avenue, a circular Dr. Manhattan-on-Mars-Chrystal Castle bar. The light is a Blue Curaçao, and the room can feel too big for its own good.

Into the bowels you’ll find its Atlantic Avenue, where “the environment takes control.” “CT’s biggest dance floor” (though Toad’s feels bigger) and 30-foot ceilings will keep you “mesmerized,” and the speakers pump with the “vinyl” tunes that will “make a better showcase for you to get your groove on.” Never mind that during the Vinny Guadagnino extravaganza, the “incredible DJ” in the main room was a white dude who could have been on Medicare had Harry Reid got his way.

Upstairs, Elevate Lounge, the Marvin Gardens of the Crown Street clubs, has played host to Model UNers who’ve been daggering all over its “dark, sensual” dance-floor. It’s got pool tables for the outcast bros.

A quick word on the dress code. While men can get rejected at the door for Tims, apparently the “ripped/torn clothing” restriction doesn’t apply to slashed JWOWW tops.