Hey you! Yes, you. Are you about to be a Yale Graduate?
We thought so. We could tell. You have Success written all over you.
Hey, Lifeguard ’06 — you’re our type of man, sitting there on the third floor of the gym on a Saturday afternoon, watching to make sure no one drowns. You’re as cool as a cucumber, and as hot as a hot pocket. A tall drink of water, wink wink. You tell it like it is, you bend for no one: Sorry, we don’t have any goggles for loan, you say to the girl with the small pink bikini. You are patriotic, you are all-American, apple pie: Indiana boy, there aren’t many of you up here. You’re a trail blazer. But you’re no square, oh no — you’re no dork, no weenie, you know how to have fun, you have your cake and you eat it too. You know where you’re going, you’re driving your own car: After law school, you’ll do JAG, then maybe public policy. You’re a capital man, a take-charge, take-out man, out and about, painting the town, seeing the city, kissing the babies, blowing the kisses, waving your hand, shaking their hands, and they’ll look down and see what a stand-out College Class Ring you have.
So whether you are a heavy metal buff or buff and full of mettle, we’re got the metal for you: Men’s Traditional. Fireblue stone, engraving, Bulldog, Ivy, Yale fence. Right hand, fourth finger. $793.
Or you: Singer ’06 — you’re a man we’d trust, reclining in a chair in your Pierson College dorm room with a cut-off white t-shirt, taking a break from all those physics problem sets. You’ve got the voice of an angel, but you’re not soft like angel food cake. Big biceps, uh huh, manly scruff on your chin. You play intramurals: you score goals, shoot hoops, throw touchdown passes. You’ve got mud in your shoes and a gleam in your eyes. Sure, you’re contradictory. Who isn’t? You are prideful like a lion, and humble like a saint. But you’ve got principles — no empty rhetoric here. You’re headed for D.C., you double-major you, you night owl, you late-nighter, burning the candles at both ends, taking care of risky business, dancing in your tighty-whiteys, work hard, play hard, giving the status quo the finger, and my, what a nice College Class Ring you have there.
As a college grad, you are automatically a big deal. The real deal. Well-prepared to wheel and deal. Fortunately for you, your class ring is a very good deal: Executive. Oval face, college crest, PC, graduation date. Right hand, fourth finger. $713.
You too: Activist ’06 — you’re a gal we’d hang with, coming back late at night from your feminist meetings, burning your bra, wearing the pants, flaming red hair. You’re pro-choice, and we are too, because options are always a good thing. You stick it to the man, and stick and stones won’t break your bones. You dance to your own tune, but you’ll always save the last dance for your awesome boyfriend. That’s right, you may be a feminist, but you’ve got a feminine side too, you use lotion, you shave your legs; they are smooth as a baby’s bottom, no chaffing here. You don’t like sexists, but you’re definitely sexy. You’re a natural-born mentor: After college, you’ll teach. You’ll nurture young minds, you’ll mold the future, you’ll serve as a role model, you’ll give back, but never give in, when the times get tough, when the cupboards are bare, when the good give up, when you throw in your hand, at least with your head in your hands you’ll have a beautiful College Class Ring.
Here’s the thing about college: It’s an awesome achievement any way you slice it: Noblesse. Center Y, CC, graduation date, white gold. $619.
You [Lifeguard, Singer, Activist, Butcher, Baker, Candlestick-maker] are an Individual. You’re absolutely brimming with Personality. We’ve given you options and you’ve made choices, because it’s what makes you you that really matters, and there’s no bragging here — only limited space. You’ve made it. Emphasis on you. So when you wave to a friend, when you twiddle your thumbs, when you jab your hand forward at a job interview, the whole world knows: You must be smart, because that’s some mad impressive bling.