To the Editor:
I applaud the visionary essay penned by Daniel Weisfield, titled “Why CCL should be a Yale exclusive” (10/12). His political and social vision exhibits a bright outlook for Yale, a vision where the townies no longer taint the beauty of the campus.
In this Weisfieldean future, the townies no longer steal the cozy University jobs they currently do. Future Yalies will no longer be prevented from sanitizing their lavatories; nor will they be forbidden from the grandeur of sustenance preparation. They will finally have the amazing privilege of self-subsistence. Additionally, Yalies will no longer bear the massive burden they currently do of allowing the townies to closely associate with our private club. We will be freed from the obligatory daily courtesy smile we must currently give to that one lady who mops the floors in SML.
As the situation stands today, the townies have benefited excessively from us. They have been given the wonderful gift of providing my nourishment to me, of standing in awe of the innumerable designer labels I proudly bear day in and day out, of quietly wiping the floors up after my indiscretions and of witnessing firsthand the advantages that come from a birth into affluence.
In fact, these townies have overrun our sacrosanct library. It has been the case, many times so, that when I desired to check my seemingly urgent electronic communications at one of the terminals, I had to wait hours on end. When I solely wanted to engage the scholarly services of AIM and did not feel the impetus to push the power button on my $2,000+ laptop, instead I was standing in line for, what felt like, days on end.
In the same vein, I have never witnessed, nor is it remotely possible that, a fellow Yalie would waste the already sparse resources of our impoverished university for lighthearted e-mail, IM, MMORPG, or other pedantic trifles. Yalies would never even feign such an inefficient use of Yale-emblazoned property.
I say, “Make the Weisfieldean vision a reality now!” Ban all townies from our glorious institution and reverse the harmful trend towards inclusion.
Felix Valenzuela LAW ’06
Oct. 12, 2005
To the Editor: