A fan’s guide to Ivy hoops heckling

With another Ivy men’s basketball season upon us, this year’s Yale squad is one of the best ever to grace the hardwood at the John J. Lee Amphitheater, and the team is a real threat to capture the Ivy League title.

Perhaps the one piece of the puzzle missing in a run to March Madness is a real home court advantage to propel the Elis over the top.

The first weekend of the Ivy season was a promising start in establishing an intimidating atmosphere. There were decent crowds on hand for Columbia and Cornell, especially considering that the games took place before school was back in session. We hope this is only the beginning.

It is time for Yalies to show their true colors and come out in force to the rest of our home games. And not only should all 3,100 seats in the Lee Amphitheater be filled up for each of the last six Ivy games, the fans need to be loud and obnoxious, making the Lee Amphitheater a place where the likes of Pennsylvania and Princeton fear playing.

With that in mind, we thought a guide to heckling for the rest of the Ivy season would be in order.

Brown

Jason Forte: This one’s easy. His brother is Joe Forte, who starred for North Carolina last year. Just remind Forte that he isn’t half the player his brother is. And, oh yeah, his brother is currently warming the bench quite nicely for the Boston Celtics in the NBA.

Earl Hunt: The leading scorer in the Ivy League last season, Hunt is an explosive athlete and the best player on Brown. Thank goodness his first name is not the same as ours.

Penn

Koko Archibong: Widely considered the best player in the league this year, make sure Koko realizes that this is just not true. For example, did you know that he’s not even the best Archibong on the floor when he plays Yale? That honor goes to Yale’s Ime Archibong ’03. Make sure Koko knows it. And no, Koko and Ime are not related. Koko, meet your match. Meet Ime.

Ugonna Onyekwe: The son of a Nigerian diplomat, Onyekwe went to high school in England. He only picked up basketball a few years ago, but he’s become quite a standout and is a pro prospect. Abuse his first name. “U gonna miss.” “U gonna lose.” Or you can abandon the “gonna” for “U suck.”

Andrew Toole: A transfer from Elon College, Toole can be considered, well, a tool. Abuse his last name just like you abuse Ugonna’s first.

Princeton

Mike Bechtold: According to Princeton’s media guide, Bechtold’s mom is a self-employed caterer. Antagonize him with, “Hey Bechtold, your mom baked me cookies the other day. They sucked!” You can make up the rest.

John Thompson III: Princeton’s second-year coach is the son of basketball Hall of Famer and former Georgetown head coach John Thompson. This version is not going to make it to the Hall of Fame and will be a permanent fixture under his father’s rather large shadow. He’s also not half the coach of Yale’s James Jones.

Dartmouth

Last year when Dartmouth journeyed to New Haven, its best player, then senior Greg Buth, was effectively taken out of the game by just a few Yale hecklers. Buth is now gone, but this just serves to show the potential of just a few spirited fans, let alone a whole crowd.

Flinder Boyd: The senior point guard from Los Angeles is the team’s best player and floor leader. Unfortunately for the Big Green, they just ain’t that good. Nothing special is required for the heckling here. Just tell him he and his team suck. It’s the truth.

Harvard

Harvard’s easy. The team’s top players are Elliott Prasse-Freeman, Patrick Harvey and Andrew Gellert. Get inside their heads, and don’t back off. Then again, we know you won’t need any prompting because it is Harvard. The standard cheers from The Game still apply (with the exception of “School on Monday,” because we do as well this time).

Harvard is looking like a legitimate team this year after its win over highly rated Penn, so the gym better be rocking for this regular season finale. Remember, Harvard sucks. Always.

So that rounds up the basic guide to heckling.

Remember, Yale’s got the talent to match up with anyone in the Ivy League. But a little help from the Yale students and faculty would go a long way to helping the team night in and night out at home. Every team needs that “sixth man”.

So fill up Yale’s gym and cheer your heads off. A full gym with lots of heckling will be lots of fun. And it doesn’t have to be all about the heckling either. Watching Yale’s team and cheering for them with a full crowd will also be wild. This is a quality team that’s exciting to watch. And they win. Oh boy, do they win. Come out in force, support the Elis and cheer them onto victory.

Besides, if the Bulldogs win the Ivy League championship, but no one sees it, did they actually win a championship?

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